Dated: october 2019
The fear is real and so is reality. Then there are other things such as getting reality check, excitement, anxiety, been grown as well a kid at the same time, looking to do something never seen before and not being able to find it, suddenly finding it and yet again not finding it. Losing hope and having a feeling of being the king of the world. getting scolding from elders and guidance from friends. Dedicating all the time to the dream project and not able to take out time for friends without whom life is incomplete. Still a sense of satisfaction that surrounds it.
A lot has happened since last two months when after exploring for 3.5 years, I decided to start working over my foodspace. In a typical bollywood style, while seeing a dream in my sleep I started to wonder why am I not starting my foodspace. I literally woke up screaming ‘I am ready’. It felt like an outburst more than anything else because I was waiting for the right time years now and at that moment I just knew that the time has come Sometimes I feel like a self obsessed person or maybe being self obsessed is a present need, but whatever be the case, it still feels likes it was the energies that sent me signal to open up the place.While a lot has changed in last two months since I took the decision and offcourse there will be a lot of challenging situations, one unexpected challege came in the form of my inability to take decisions. What a peculier thing it is indeed. I remember how once while taking a foodwalk I asked the guest to sit on any of the table them want. I can seriously she how difficult desicion it was for her. Here, I have to take decisions around something I have been dreaming to do since more that three years of my life.
Usually I take decision even before thinking. good thing about that is I don’t overthink. For when I do overthink, it becomes so difficult to take decisions. You just never have the right answer for anything.
I remember when I found out that i need another water storage unit on my roof. I was so reluctent to buy a small amount of Rd 2500, similar was the case while buying the paint. I think Financial decisions are the toughest ones. Or maybe the toughest one I have faced till now.
Another challenge is around arranging money. I took help from friends. I have taken help from my college friends multiple times in last 3 years, it was first time I was taking help from my school friends. For some reason asking for money from them was a whole new delima in itself. For a moment it felt like my pride has been shattered. Although to be honest maybe I was just overthinking for ever since I took it, I am actually feeling good. This dream of mine is not just about me, today it has also become dream of a lot of people out there including my friends. It does put a pressure on me. Although it does motivates me a lot more as well.
Till now I have invested around Rs60000 in the place(to make the place liveable). I need Rs 50000 more to make things functional. Maybe I can take Rs 10000 from my friends again, Rs 10000 from my family and maybe Rs10000 I can pitch myself from my travel fund. Thus All I need will be Rs 20000 more.
Assuming I am able to find this money, I can invest Rs 10000 for setting up staircase for going on roof(presently I am using bamboo ladder which is highly unsafe). Rs 20000 will be invested in electricy related expenditure. Hopefully Rs 10000 will be enough to get gates and windows sorted. It will stop the dust that is coming inside the den. I need some furniture as well. I guess I will have to keep Rs10000 for that.
However the scary part will be, it will leave me without any support regarding kitchen setup for which I will be needing some money as well. lets assum I will be needing Rs 30000 more. Out of this I will be needing Rs 5000 for the mixer and grinder and another Rs 5000 for other basic equipments. Rs 10000 I can keep for containers. Rs 10000 seems like a good amount for initial grocery.
A lot of numebers here are guess work and I can be really wrong. I should have better calculations in hand. I will do the research tomorrow and try to get a more realistic situation. My research need to pass uddipt test(a story for some other time). But assuming the calculations are right, my question is from where will I get all this money
Also I am taking part in events so that I can promote myself. I will be needing investment of around 20000 for that as well. again an assumption. God! I really need to figure out my strategies. I am honestly thinking of starting to sell some health drink outside central park soon. Tell me what you think about that.
Okay now bye, I need to explore options to change my website. I want to remake it myself now.